arkodo
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A Defeated man doesn't finish a man, quitting does. He's finished when he quits
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Post by arkodo on Dec 10, 2013 20:49:05 GMT -5
Ok, This thread is a joke telling thread of Fergus, for he is considered up there with Chuck Noris jokes because of his past events in life. I got this idea after recently watching the new Bill Brasky sketch comedy on SNL last Sat.
Anyone can participate.
Rules. No inside meaning thats hurtful, exploiting him for personal gain, this is strictly telling tall tale's/jokes of him that aren't necessarily real. Kinda like Paul Bunyan or Pecos Bill silly shenanigans tails to Chuck Noris feats of epic-ness.
Don't piggy back on other's joke's unless its really funny and planned out to be worth it.
For example
I ever tell the story of Fergus inventing the concept of profanity one time when he broke both his arms bear wrestling and needed a way to hurt people when he couldn't just sock them in the mouth! Yup, thats the kind he is. Crazy awesome to a boot.
Go from there. Make up your own quotes from here on.
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Xavier
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HIT IT!
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Post by Xavier on Dec 10, 2013 21:13:25 GMT -5
Hehe i need to think of some old fergus stories
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Arcturus
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Retired Brother
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Post by Arcturus on Dec 11, 2013 0:03:25 GMT -5
Yea it's hard figuring where to start
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Draggeron Ascholie
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Those who form it come and go, but the Company is forever.
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Post by Draggeron Ascholie on Dec 11, 2013 6:38:22 GMT -5
start with the first one that comes to mind, dont waste time thinking about which one
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debuenzo
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Who doesn't love porno?
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Post by debuenzo on Dec 11, 2013 14:16:30 GMT -5
I once heard that Fergus had sex with so many sheep that he inadvertently knitted himself a pair of socks.
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Xavier
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HIT IT!
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Post by Xavier on Dec 11, 2013 16:27:12 GMT -5
Fergus once lashed 4 romans together and rode them into battle.
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debuenzo
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Who doesn't love porno?
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Post by debuenzo on Dec 11, 2013 17:48:41 GMT -5
It's said that little Fergus is a better fighter than most newbs
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arkodo
Brother
A Defeated man doesn't finish a man, quitting does. He's finished when he quits
Posts: 1,797
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Post by arkodo on Dec 12, 2013 4:23:43 GMT -5
During the Great blizzard of 86' Fergus wrote the meaning of life in the snow with his urine, he killed and ate everyone who read it. When they asked him why, Fergus said he liked his food enlightened with the ultimate truth.
(Felt that my last quote was crummy, decided too rewrite a new one too top it)
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arkodo
Brother
A Defeated man doesn't finish a man, quitting does. He's finished when he quits
Posts: 1,797
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Post by arkodo on Dec 12, 2013 8:01:01 GMT -5
God decided to cheat and based creation off Alex Raymond's comic character of Prince Vultan but renamed him Fergus so he wasn't openly caught.
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Post by Azgarehta (Bard) on Dec 15, 2013 22:00:15 GMT -5
Fergus once fought the entirety of EBF wearing nothing but WOAD
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debuenzo
Brother
Who doesn't love porno?
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Post by debuenzo on Dec 15, 2013 23:52:18 GMT -5
If you laid the cans of chew end-to-end that fergus has had in his lifetime, you could go around the world 3 times.
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Post by ehlanna on Dec 16, 2013 3:10:41 GMT -5
This one time at Ragnarok little Fergus escaped the kilt of holding and proceeded to fuck every chick there, the whole time singing "fast as fast can be, you'll never cum as fast as me"
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arkodo
Brother
A Defeated man doesn't finish a man, quitting does. He's finished when he quits
Posts: 1,797
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Post by arkodo on Dec 17, 2013 19:50:21 GMT -5
I remember a time when the government commissioned General Mills to propagate the Kool-Aid man more than ever to cover up the time when Fergus went on a murderous rampage. See, whenever you see Kool-Aid man bursting through a wall saying "OH YEAH", offering flavorable beverages to children, it was really Fergus caving in a wall and covered in the blood of his enemies. He had the skin tone of distilled rage, and instead of offering colorful libations to the unlucky bystanders, he only had gnarled, scarred fists of death. So whenever people talk about the incident, the masses will always think the few who really know are just joking about seeing the Kool-Aid man on that fateful day.
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arkodo
Brother
A Defeated man doesn't finish a man, quitting does. He's finished when he quits
Posts: 1,797
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Post by arkodo on Dec 17, 2013 19:55:07 GMT -5
Fergus invented fire when he farted on a caveman. The fumes from all his alcohol consumption were more volatile than propane, and the poor caveman had unfortunately discovered you could bang rocks together at just the wrong time.
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debuenzo
Brother
Who doesn't love porno?
Posts: 5,030
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Post by debuenzo on Dec 18, 2013 12:14:35 GMT -5
The movie "Over the Top" is loosely based on Fergus's amateur career as an arm wrestler.
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